Oasis for MommiesA blog for Christian mothers to share about the journey of motherhood as well as to receive refreshment and encouragement from the Lord through other women walking the same path.

Balancing Grace

I just thought I would share with a current struggle and journey of prayer that I am on.  I have recently been listening to a sermon series on parenting that I found to be extremely helpful in getting back to God’s Word on parenting…constantly returning to God’s Word…but I found it somewhat lacking in the grace department.  So I began reading Grace-Based Parenting by Tim Kimmell which seems more balanced.  I would love to hear more of other mom’s thoughts on parenting…finding the balance between the parenting direction in the book of Proverbs primarily with that of the grace that Christ offers us.  Any thoughts?

A Woman of Grace

Are you a graceless mom? Are you saved by Jesus Christ, but have not learned how to live in grace?

“But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but BECAUSE of his mercy.” (Titus 3:4-5)

John 8:36 says, “So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” Angela Thomas says talks of this grace through Jesus Christ that sets us free. In this season of motherhood, we can be free from the burden of Supermom, the expectations of others, a critical spirit, and even the captivity of our own natures.

“Dust falls on furniture of the just and the unjust…poopy diapers happen….Just think about the potential for influencing our children if we live out a legacy of grace.”

The grace of God can radically transform the whole adventure of motherhood.

HOW TO KNOW WHERE GRACE LIVES (taken from Tender Mercy for a Mother’s Soul)

1) All the neighborhood kids want to hang out at the house where grace lives.

2) The dust may be thicker on top of the tv and the closets a bit cluttered but hearts have been tended to where grace lives.

3) Schedules matter, but souls matter more.

4) There is always room for one more where grace lives.

5) Grace stays up late to listen, hug in the dark and wipe away tears of pain and disappointment.

6) You can see people dancing where grace lives, because moms hang up the phone, turn up the music, and dance over the victories of their children.

7) You can hear things like “Please forgive me, I was wrong…You are my treasure, my blessing.”

The eyes of the children where grace lives shine with joy and anticipation. They have not been wounded by impossible expectations. They have not been distanced by rejection. They have been embraced and accepted and loved.

9) The moms at the house where grace lives are just regular, every day moms, but God lives inside them. By His power, they are becoming holy and righteous and good. They stumble but recover quickly. They make mistakes, but say, “I’m sorry.” They get blown by the winds of heartache and adversity, but their hearts remain tender toward God.

“God knows that we are but dust.” (See Psalm 103:14)

“Within every area of my life is the opportunity to search for a list to live by: the list for being a great wife, the list for serving at the church, the list of social acceptance. The possibilities are endless, and I hear their accusations trying to pull me away from the feast of grace.”

“Satan does not want mothers to feast at the table of God’s grace, because grace will set a mother free and then, yes, she will be free indeed. Free to love her family well. Free to raise her children in a gracious home. Free to pursue the passions of her heart. Free to stake her whole life on the truth of Christ and run toward His glory.”

Mommies, let’s live as women of grace.

Questions For the Week!

1) Are you depending on your husband to fill you up–to satisfy you?

“When you aren’t depending on your husband to fill you up, then he can make mistakes and you are still okay. He can say the wrong thing, and you can forgive him quickly. He can struggle and question his direction, and you don’t fall into despair. He can be your partner and your friend, because he does not have to be your Savior.”

2) Do you sense that the Lord is drawing you closer? Do you long for spiritual eyes to see? What keeps you from surrendering the cup of your soul for His filling? Are you ready to fall in love with Jesus again?

3) Are you looking for creative ways to meet with God every day? How are some ways that you do that?

“There is an art of leaving things undone so that the greater thing can be done.” ~ Jill Briscoe on meeting with Jesus despite our busy circumstances

4) Do you have another woman or mom to run alongside–one that can speak into your life on spiritual matters and encourage you along your journey of motherhood, your journey of marriage and most importantly, your walk with the Lord?

Abide, Remain and Rest…

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you wil find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” ~ Matthew 11:28-30

Taken from a book by Angela Thomas:

“In Scripture, Jesus extends to us two invitations.  The first is to come to Him and be saved.  Come and yoke yourself with Jesus Christ.  Come and find rest from the burden of your sin.  Come and trade your busy life for His, because only by the power of the Son of God will there be rest for your soul.  Just think about “rest for your soul.”   Doesn’t that mean that when you come to Jesus, you will be delivered from your fears, every need will be supplied, and your heart will be full of His presence?  Of course it does.  And so where is all the rest?  Why are we spiritually empty?  Why do we feel lost and alone?  Our souls are aching, either because we have never come to Christ or because we have not stayed.

 The second invitation is to REMAIN.  In John 15 (emphasis added), Jesus says,

‘REMAIN in me, and I will REMAIN in you.’ (v.4)

‘I am the vine; you are the branches.  If a man REMAINS in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.’ (v.5)”

Many of us have come to Jesus for salvation, but we forget that He also calls us to COME and REMAIN in Him. 

I encourage you all to REMAIN in Jesus–”to eat at the feast of His goodness until your hungry soul has been satisfied.”

“Run toward God and remain with Him.  Bring the empty cup of your soul and the mess.  Bring your dreams and your failures.  Bring every question you have ever had.  Bring everything that has kept you away, and run into the strong arms of Jesus.”

“Call on the strong name of Jesus.  He will come and gently take your face in His hands, lovingly open your eyes, and wipe away the tears so that you can behold the glory of His love for you.”

Supermomitis

supermomitis- the disease of attempting to become a super mom; attempting to do things all in our own strength, able to love and give until we are completely empty

I think we as mothers all go through this at one point or another.  I heard about this disease, but now am in the midst of truly experiencing it.  In a book by Angela Thomas, the author discusses about an unwritten list of requirements we and society have placed on ourselves as Christian mothers:

“Love God.  Check.  Love your family.  Check.  Manage your home.  Check.  Care for your soul.  Check.”  As moms, we must focus on soul care…everything else comes from that–from our relationship with Jesus Christ.  But let us be honest with ourselves.  This sometimes seems like an impossibility when exhaustion and busyness sink in.

The tapestry of motherhood has many threads of blessings and many strands of frustrations.  The demands of motherhood can engulf us.  One of the coolest parts of motherhood is the way that we begin to learn the fruits of the Spirit as mentioned in Galatians 5:22-23 in the Bible.  Instead of writing how or what I have learned about the fruits of the Spirit, let this be a meditation for you…think on the following fruits of the Spirit and how being a mother has instilled these things in you more.

~ Love

~ Joy

~ Peace

~ Patience

~ Kindness

~ Goodness

~ Faithfulness

~ Gentleness

~ Self-control

How has God used your children to shape your spirit?

And then there are the endless string of demands…trying to balance your children, your career, church, activities, your marriage and intimacy with your husband (if you are married) and your desire to minister to those outside of your family…

We become exhausted…”nothing fuels exhaustion like doing the same things over and over.”  (changing diapers, changing clothes, breastfeeding or constantly bottlefeeding your baby, picking up the same toys, etc.)

We begin to feel empty.  We are constantly giving physically and emotionally to our children.  We are given out.

We struggle with our identity.  We have forgotten the world of adulthood…

One of the biggest strings of frustration??  GUILT!  We should make scrapbooks, read more, pray more, take care of our husband, look better, eat better, lose weight from the pregnancy.  Satan truly uses guilt to rob mothers of our joy…to make us more about “doing” rather than “being”

We feel spiritually barren.  We must call on the Lord to come and refresh our weary souls.  Take a few minutes to read Psalm 23 and ask God to come and restore your soul.

 After all of this, here is what I know: I cannot do this all on my own.  I need the Lord.  In my own strength, I am falling apart and in many ways have fallen apart already.  We must walk with God through this.

“As women of God, we can learn how to graciously endure the hard days and passionately celebrate the good ones.” 

Let us leave the guilt aside of Supermomitis.  Like in Hebrews 12:1, let us throw off that which entangles us….

Welcome to the Oasis for Mommies!

I am so excited to be kicking off this new blog!  While I was pregnant, I realized the need to talk to other mommies and mommies-to-be about the fun parts of pregnancy and parenting, as well as the difficult ones.  I found it SO helpful to throw around ideas and thoughts with others that I wanted to open up this blog for women to share how they are doing with this crazy, but wonderful journey of motherhood.  I hope that whether you are a mom living in North America or a mom living overseas that you join us in sharing all that you have learned and continue to learn.

Oprah Winfrey said that motherhood is one of the hardest jobs in the world!  There is truth to that, but it is also one of the best…it is one of the “jobs” I love the most, would do anything to persevere through and would never give up.

As I was reading one of my favorite books recently, Tender Mercy for a Mother’s Soul by Angela Thomas, I was touched and encouraged by the author’s words.  I wanted to share with some of the incredible things God has taught her through her journey.

“The calling of motherhood is not to be a supermom; the calling is to be a woman of God to your children…I know that if my soul is full of the presence of Christ and I am walking by His magnificent strength, then I have more to give to my family. I am a better mother when I am reading my Bible, praying with consistency and power, and pursuing my passions and gifts.  When I hunger for His truth and long for time alone with Him, then I can love my family from the abundance of His love in me.”

The demands of motherhood can engulf us…overwhelm us…it can cause us to feel great amounts of guilt and can cause us to doubt our abilities…

Let this website be an oasis for you all…a place where you can come and meet with other mommies walking the same path.  But above and beyond the community with other mommies, let us encourage one another in our relationship with Jesus Christ who can give us rest, renewal and refreshment to our weary souls.

Some ideas for topics I would like for us to share on this blog are:

• Favorite things about parenthood
• Difficulties during pregnancy
• Fun stories about your children
• What it is like raising your children in an overseas setting
• What you do for “you” time to relax and rejuvenate (feel free to share about products)
• Creative discipline techniques
• Marriage adjustment to new children
• Single Parenting
• How God has blessed and taught you during this process
• Adoption
• How we can serve mothers from other countries living in our community
• Any other topics!

Let me close with this prayer and quote from Angela Thomas:
“I am praying that these words from a broken woman will minister to you right where you are.  I am asking God to step into your crazy life with the tenderness of His affection and the goodness of His love–healing, restoring, leading you step-by-step on your journey of mothering.”

May this new blog be a place where you feel welcomed to share about your children and motherhood!!  Let yourself be refreshed and renewed at the Oasis for Mommies!